1.31.2011

Friends

I've been thinking about my friendships a lot lately. I have some girlfriends who I consider to be my close friends - even though we're all residing in different states and we are all at very different junctures in our lives. But the common denominator is that we KNOW each other. I mean - We really know each other. Since the 5th grade kind of know each other. We know why we are the way we are, we know what shaped us into the women we are today, we know who we are at our core. And while we were REALLYCLOSE in high school, our friendships have changed as we became adults, got married and started families. And yet, we can still call after 2 or 3 months and talk as if no time has passed at all. This works for me. Sometimes I wish we all still lived close and that we could talk more frequently, but I understand the demands that families place on a woman. And I would never want my friendship to demand the same level of attention.

But my friendships that I've developed since then with other women don't always feel that easy. It seems like I'm failing in friendships, partly because I'm not giving enough care and attention to those relationships as my friends apparently expect. I guess I'm so used to the easiness and undemanding friendship with my core girls that i fail to realize that these newer friendships need care and feeding.

On a side note - I'm reading The Girls From Ames by Jeffrey Zaslow. Good read so far.

So I took a silly friendship personality quiz and found out that:

My Friendship Style is Independent

You love your friends, but you don't always need them as much as they need you.
You like to do your own thing. Sometimes this means taking a break from your friends and carving your own path.

As long as your friends give you the space you need, you are happy to be there for them whenever you can.
Your friends lean on you for advice and problem solving. You tend to be "the rock."

So where is this post going? I'm not sure - maybe I just needed to find the space to say to myself "It's okay to be independent. You don't have to feel bad because other people put expectations on you that don't fit who you are. Be true to yourself, and be the best friend that you can be - but don't try to be something that you are not."

PS - Being a grown up sometimes isn't fun - but it's still better than being a pre-teen girl!

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