1.22.2010

Do you ever have those interactions with a peer that just leave you feeling crummy? For whatever reason, whether it's self induced feelings of inadequacy, ignorance, or just a feeling of slight jealousy? As I "near the age of 30" I definitely have those moments. Somewhere along the line I adopted this idea that I was supposed to be in a certain place in my life by the time I reached "this" age. There were things that I was supposed to have accomplished or succeeded at. I'm not sure where this list of things or how the idea of being a certain person came to be imbedded in my mind. Heck, I'm not even sure what this list of things includes! But I wish it hadn't. Somedays it makes me feel lazy, unworthy, stupid, unmotivated, dissatisfied or a little like a failure.

But who's expectations are these? and why are they weighing down on my with so much pressure?

I mentioned this feeling to a friend the other day and she just stopped and starred at me in disbelief. And I get it, I shouldn't feel defeated by my self imposed expectations. After all,
- I have my Master's degree
- I'm employed in a well paying job
- I have a beautiful home
- a loving life partner
- two beautiful dog-children
- volunteer work that I thoroughly enjoy
- I've completed 3 full marathons and counting
- a crazy family whom I love dearly
- etc.

So why do I feel inadequate around others?

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